Infinite Like A Mouse
by Summersetlights
Summary: With a gun in his hand, Eli may do something that will forever change his life.


**_Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. And I don't own the story The Heart Rate Of A Mouse. By Arctic_grey. It's fantastic and I would have never gotten this idea without that story._**

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><p><strong><em>I.<em>**

Clare Edwards was yellow.

Yellow like the summer days when you were little. Yellow in the way where it was beautiful and never-ending. Yellow in the sense of hope, whether it be false or true.

And that's why she appealed to him. She was his breath of fresh air.

Elijah Goldsworthy was black.

At least, that's how he described himself.

He was the black cloud in the sky, always raining down on everyone. He was that person who made the world stop and stutter in its path.

And because of this, because of everything, because he was black in the soul and Clare was yellow in the heart, Elijah Goldsworthy held the black gun in his hand.

The gun felt graceful and smooth in his worn out hands. It felt like home. Maybe it was because it was the gun he used to go hunting with when he was little, but really, in all actuality, it was because death was so close to him. He could almost see the end of the tunnel. But he was a bit confused, to tell you the truth. Wasn't the end of the tunnel supposed to be bright with sunshine? Wasn't it supposed to welcome you into the arms of death? It was funny, in a not funny way, because Eli didn't see any bright light. He didn't see any sparkling sunshine. All he saw was black.

That's all he could ever see.

As he moved the gun around in his hands, he felt something burning in his throat, a feeling that he couldn't define. It was anger, sure, but that anger held something else. The other emotion was subtle and it was hiding, but it was there.

Was it...hesitation?

Nah...Wait...could it be?

Eli shook his head in frustration and focused on the anger.

He was always angry. Angry at his parents for not knowing what was happening. Angry at the girl who left him and died. Angry at the other girl who was too good for him and too yellow for him. Angry at himself just because.

Eli sighed in thought and glanced outside the window and squinted his eyes. The sun was shining brightly and there were no clouds in the sky. The children were playing freely, leaving Eli wishing that he could protect them all from the horrors of the world.

And when Elijah Goldsworthy glanced to his left, several things happened.

One: Clare Edwards was right outside his house, her yellow heart gleaming brightly in the sun, which in comparison to Clare, was extremely dull.

Two: He held the gun tighter in his sweating hand. It was almost time. And he could feel it.

Three: A hawk swiftly swooped down onto the pavement, and grabbed a feild mouse with its tallons. The hawk flew high into the air and held onto the mouse with its life. Eli swore that he could almost hear the mouse screaming.

And I guess that was the final straw for Elijah Goldsworthy. Because he placed the gun by his head, his hands shaking dramatically. Images of the mouse being picked up made tears stream down his pale cheeks and made his teeth chatter even though it was summer weather. Silently, he began a countdown in his rattled up head.

Ten.

_His eyes clenched tightly together._

Nine.

_He bit his lip, causing it to bleed._

Eight.

_The gun shook in his sweaty hand._

Seven.

_He took a deep breath, steadying his shaky heart._

Six.

_He prayed to the God that he didn't believe in._

Five.

_He recited the last words that Julia had ever said to him. The hateful words._

Four.

__In his head, he said he was sorry to his parents and his best friend, Adam._  
><em>

Three.

__Silently, he told the blue-eyed beauty that he loved her. So much._  
><em>

Two.

_Silence._

One.

Elijah Goldsworthy was infinite as a mouse.

_**II.**_

Clare Edwards walked down the street, the sun beating down on her face and made her feel alive. She whistled brightly and added a skip to her step.

Up ahead, she heard some sort of commotion. Clare ran forwards and jogged up to the familiar street. In front of her, she saw a hawk swoop down and grab a mouse on the black pavement.

And everything after that seemed to move in slow-motion.

The hawk flew past her head quickly and gracefully, and Clare caught a quick glimpse of the mouse. Its beady eyes were afraid and worried. And for once in her short life, Clare Edwards didn't feel very alive.

And only a few seconds after, a gun-shot echoed throughout the street. Clare didn't look for the noise at first, but when the crows flew past her head, flying away from the certain house that haunted her memories, a rock formed in her stomach. Glancing up at the second story window, she felt her body freeze.

She knew.

Clare Edwards knew.

And she wished she didn't.

**_III._**

What no one knows is that only a mile away, the hawk flew freely through the open sky.

Its tallons empty.

Along the way, ironically, the bird had dropped the mouse.

And the mouse just scurried away, unaware of the fact that a boy was dead.

Unaware that the boy would never breathe again.

Unaware that the boy was infinite like a mouse.

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><p><strong><em>Ah.<em>**

**_I really, honestly, don't like this at all. _**

**_Review? Please?_**


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